Ramble On... Sing my Song: boring

Showing posts with label boring. Show all posts

Deep, if I do say so myself.

Sunday, November 21, 2010 12:23 PM Posted by Erica , 1 comments

Labels: At The Helm , boring , day to day

So I was checking out an archive of someone's tumblr and I stumbled across this post. Tumblr is a fabulous website, I love it. My one gripe? It's full of whiny, 15 year olds complaining about high school, their friends and how much their parents suck.

But this makes me feel a bit different. I remember being 15. It sucked. Being a teenager is awful. You're constantly on edge, depressed, manic... and that's just because of hormones. I would have given anything to be as "cute" as that girl, I felt awkward and alone. My difference was that I had a small (very small), tight-knit group of friends who cared about me. We were *rebels*, we did what we wanted and didn't care what anyone thought of us. That helped me immensely, having my own personal backup squad if things got ugly. These people were real friends who would stand up for me in a fight.

What helped me more was that even though my mother was distracted by her own hellish life, she protected me from feeling inadequate. She dieted, but she never criticized me for my looks or expanding waistline. She let me dress how I wanted, shop at thrift stores and wear stupid jewelry and dye my hair black. She just allowed me to be me... to succeed, and most of all... to fail. I did alot of failing.

I was bullied, mostly in elementary school for things like my teeth, my hair, my nose, my fatness. It was difficult. I don't know what clicked in me that suddenly changed my attitude toward everyone. When someone would tease me, I would "So what?". Immediately, that would shut them down and they gained a bit of respect for me. Maybe respect isn't the right word, but they knew I wouldn't cower or cry if they tried again. My mother had always told me, you can't change what you were given. So live with it. I started to build my confidence then and there. My attitude for everything was "So What?".

It saved me from what could have happened when I was young. It gave me license to not care what people thought about me, to indulge in activities that I enjoyed and that gave me pleasure. This included listening to "scary" music, reading "weird" books, being interested in "boring" hobbies and just generally labeling me as the Scary, weird, smart girl. And to this day, I see nothing wrong with that title. So what? I scared people. So What? I was weird. SO WHAT? I was smart. Those are not things to be ashamed of. And you know what it ultimately did for me? It drew in even more positive, True friends that I have to this day. Confidence attracts that, and I don't mind giving myself credit for changing the attitudes of more than one friend to match mine.

I feel terrible for this girl because she DIDN'T FEEL THAT. She was made to feel worthless enough to take her own life, to think that no one would care if she died and was gone forever. The despair she must have felt overwhelms me and I have no clue who she was.

Also it angers me. I can't really go on anymore or I will get quite ranty, but I wish I could shape the world's kids into healthy, confident, happy people who didn't let magazines and media tell them what to be.

The media and the rest of the world does not determine what is normal and right for you, YOU DO.

69 Days Sober

Tuesday, September 28, 2010 10:13 AM Posted by Erica , 1 comments

Labels: boring , Dad , day to day , plans

Tuesday. Again... I blog on you of all days. According to my horoscope I am testy today and not in the mood for frivolous, flighty conversations. I guess I do feel a bit like that today. I just have mucho weighing on my mind....

I spent the weekend doing fun things like going to the dentist and painting and shopping and walking! I have just been in the mood for lots of activities lately and I wish I knew more people who had painting/refinishing/project-craft things to be done. There isn't anything much more satisfying than completing a task to me. I love doing it from start to finish.

BTW. My dentist told me to get Botox to help me stop grinding my teeth. Grr. I really hate this guy. I need an impression made for a nightguard to stop grinding/clenching my teeth. I think I'll go with one of those "Doctor's Nightguards" until then.

Sunday morning I got up super early and just could not contain my curiosity about Target's Sunday ad. I decided to go to Target RIGHT when it opened. Bad idea. It is creepy to be the only person in Target shopping. But it was relaxing and soothing. I looooove to shop. I bought some essentials and some new work pants. You know what I really need though, BOOTS. For the rain and to be cute this fall.

This weekend is the Puget Sound Heart Walk and I am excited. My team, the Hormann Hotties, has 8 members and is ready to walk that 5K in the gross humidity that will be Saturday. I need to organize a few more things, but all-in-all I think I'm ready to go.

^ Me, my Dad, and Allison. ^

Tuesday. 63 Days Sober

Tuesday, September 21, 2010 10:41 AM Posted by Erica , 1 comments

Labels: Bad Mood? , boring , day to day

badLately I have been moody. Irritable. Really irritable. Why you may ask? I'll tell you why. I am hiding from myself. Hiding from dealing with certain things that are bothering me. It's easier to push them/you away by being a bitch than to deal with how you/they make me feel.

Today not so much. I'm putting it out of my mind and am determined to have a good, productive day. Today is Tuesday, I have therapy today and then I will go see a Sneak Peek of that movie Social Network or whatever it's called. It's free, so it will be automatically not *that* bad. Tuesday.... how I typically loathe thee. You aren't the middle of the week, but you're not Monday... you are some inbetween-day. No definition of your own. You are crowded on the bus and you have no good TV on either! And beyond that, for me you suck because I have an appointment every single one of you. An appointment that makes me have headaches and feel like garbage before and after. Oh therapy, how I loathe thee as well sometimes.

All in all, therapy isn't too awful. It's come quite in handy. Things have changed alot for me since I began going. I have learned much about myself and have gained a better understanding of how I work and react in my environment. I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to go. I am not thankful though for the amount of tears I have shed in that small, hot office... or the amount I have spent on copays.

There is therapy in a nutshell for me. It's good for me and I'm happy I go. But I'm looking forward to the days when I don't need to go any longer. I'm looking forward to the day I don't need so much help figuring myself out.

^^^^^I have a crush on Danny Carey. I don't care that he's 49. I'm pretty sure my heart would beat right out of my chest if I met him in person. All 6 feet 5 inches of glorious viking-man, drumming god foxiness. Danny Care. How I love thee.

Overwhelm-ation?

Sunday, November 29, 2009 8:09 AM Posted by Erica , 0 comments

Labels: boring , rant

Why is it that I constantly feel overwhelmed by everything going on around me? I know life is non-stop, always moving, but I want a little break.

Friday the 13th (spoooooky) I broke my toe walking up some goddamned steps, since then I have had to wear a heavy, bulky, obnoxious boot. I am thankful for the boot, because I CAN walk, but I am sick of it. It makes my foot hot, it bruises my leg, I have a wear a sock constantly. Not one doctor I have seen has even told me how long I'll be wearing the boot. Hopefully it will be off soon and I can go back to wearing normal shoes again!

Last night Brian and I discovered that his car was stolen. From right outside our house. Who steals a 12 year old car? Someone who really wants to escape from whatever is going. It's strange because there is a van parked across the street with a flat tire, a smashed back end, and a broken window that is similar in age to Brian's... don't even get my wheels turning.

I had my physical on Wednesday. I hate going to the doctor because I am always told something I don't want to hear. And I really hate getting a pap. It's probably the least sexy thing you could ever have done. Especially when as you are scooting your butt down that vinyl table, "Toya, why are you holding out on that lube? Now is not the time to be thrifty". O_O I'm awaiting my lab results as well, I will guarantee they are even worse than last year. And I gained 15 pounds. Woo, my life rocks.

Basically I'm frustrated with everything going on in my life. Work is the only thing that isn't getting me down. Isn't that strange? I want this year to be over and I want a new one to start. I need to downsize many many many things in my life.

How well do you know Erica H?

Monday, September 7, 2009 7:09 PM Posted by Erica , 1 comments

Labels: boring , day to day

This morning was brunch with Lori. Oh boy did I stuff my face with cake. Cake, casserole, onion tarts... all SO delicious. I think this should become a habit!

Labor day weekend has proven to be uneventful for me. Friday, I met up with my Mom and we took our gifts to my sister Valerie's apartment in Sammamish. Mind you, this was a surprise! I know I love surprises. Before that we went to the J & S and had drinks, dinner and discussed the Beatles. I had my usual Saturday consisting of cleaning litter boxes, water changes on fish tanks, planting of plants in said fish tanks, and cooking. Sunday... oh Sunday. Sunday has been designated laundry day. Laundry day is stressful. I am so sick of dealing with my horribly crappy washing machine. Have you ever wrung out clothes? Now I know why people used a mangle to do so. It's hard and tedious even if the load is small. So Brian and I decided to head to our local laundromat located just a few blocks from the house. This place is fantastic. We managed to go on a Sunday, mid-day and there were TWO people in the whole facility doing laundry. Except, of course, for the ATTENDANT. That's right, someone there to give you change and help you if you need it, such as when you forget to bring detergent with you! It's silly to love a place like a laundromat, but this one has stolen my heart. It's got this....

Yeah, that's right, a LOST AND FOUND sock wall. Not only are there socks of varying sizes and natures, but slippers and manties! Of all the laundromats I have been in, this is a first. I mean, who would do this? They must have a sense of humor. This next gentlemen must have, look at these gems...

Mesh briefs? Mesh, FLESH colored briefs? Priceless and gross. At least they are clean, har har? The next time I go I will have to capture their other awesome sights to behold there, such as their mural. It's classy. It totally sums up Fremont in a few choice depictions. There is the troll, mountains, fish, and naked bare-breasted female bike riders.

PS. Tonight is beans, rice and collards night. Yuuuum.

Rain, rain, go away... oh wait no, come back!

Sunday, September 6, 2009 10:21 PM Posted by Erica , 2 comments

Labels: boring , CSA , food

So this post will not turn out as planned. I spent time prepping my food slowly and taking pictures along the way, but I went to upload them and POOF. They were gone. These are the only ones I have. I am even missing a few in between these shots. Maybe my camera is messed up somehow?

- This first photo shows my chickpeas, carrots, onion and garlic stewing away in a pan, marrying their flavors wonderfully. The spices I used in this step include basil, thyme, rosemary and dill.
- Second, I roasted this corn in foil in the oven. I have found this leaves the corn on the cob with a great texture and natural sweetness. And this method of cooking seems pretty foolproof. You would have to leave this in the oven for close to an hour to get it to be slightly overdone!

- Pasta and greens. Typical, but tasty. And to be honest, I was afraid of my butter lettuce when I first received it. All I could think was "NOoooooo, salad fodder Blegh". I was proved quite wrong. This lettuce stays true to it's name and basically melts in your mouth. Like spinach, without tasting like spinach.
-And last, my final dish. I took the pasta and threw it into a large metal bowl and combined the chickpea/carrot mixture as well. After vigorous folding, I had a cohesive delicious blend of colors and flavors. To add to the color and vegetable content I roasted from zucchini in the oven and also dressed some chopped raw radishes in lemon juice for an extra ZING.

All in all a tasty meal, though I am very sad that most of my pictures are gone. I will try this again! I have had it stuck in my head all day that I need to make enough for lunch tomorrow.... but I don't work! Oh my. Tomorrow is Labor Day and brunch for me. Will I be spared rain? Probably not, but at least I will get baked goods out of it ;)

BTW. My neighbor let his dog take a big giant stinky crap on my lawn today. WTF. I am tempted to scoop it up and put it on his porch with a few of my cat's little treats as well.

Day One. Uno. Eins. Un.

Thursday, August 27, 2009 7:15 PM Posted by Erica , 4 comments

Labels: boring , bus freaks , day to day

First day blogging again! Today is Thursday, usually my favorite day of the week. Today not so much. I learned sad things and missed out on a delightful happy hour. No $5 pitchers of Rainier for me! Please please please will the beer fairy stop by my house and just unload a truck to go along with my pizza. Instead of happy hour, though, I did get to stop by Trophy Cupcakes and pick up a surprise for my "work mom". See the handsome man I made eyes at on the bus? What a hottie. Now I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my pizza, boo, and to watch last night's Top Chef episode!

This weekend promises wonderful weather and lots of errands. Am I excited? You betcha!