3 years
Thursday, January 20, 2011 12:30 PM , 0 comments
Labels: Bad Mood? , Dad
3 years have gone by in pretty much a flash for me. It feels like I have lived at least 5, not just a measly 36 months.
I've done much that I should be proud of. I've landed a dream job for someone my age with no education. I moved out of my parent's house and will most likely never return, even now I'm living *alone*. I feel like I have my head on pretty straight, I'm growing and learning and whatnot.. but one thing keeps eating at the back of my mind.
I didn't do all of this while I still had a dad. He's gone, has been gone for 3 years today and all he did was see me fuck up before he died. I remember our conversations at that bar, him telling me to straighten my shit out. I was too smart to be such a fuckup. Boys got in my way, boys who were worthless. I wish I had the capacity to heed those words before it was too late to prove to him that I wasn't going to be that way forever.
So as happy and content as I can be with myself, I still feel like that 21 year old fuckup....
I've done much that I should be proud of. I've landed a dream job for someone my age with no education. I moved out of my parent's house and will most likely never return, even now I'm living *alone*. I feel like I have my head on pretty straight, I'm growing and learning and whatnot.. but one thing keeps eating at the back of my mind.
I didn't do all of this while I still had a dad. He's gone, has been gone for 3 years today and all he did was see me fuck up before he died. I remember our conversations at that bar, him telling me to straighten my shit out. I was too smart to be such a fuckup. Boys got in my way, boys who were worthless. I wish I had the capacity to heed those words before it was too late to prove to him that I wasn't going to be that way forever.
So as happy and content as I can be with myself, I still feel like that 21 year old fuckup....
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