77 days
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 12:57 PM , 0 comments
Labels: day to day
So my newfound calm is being violently disrupted. Ok. I lie. Not VIOLENTLY. I just feel a bit overwhelmed about the things I have planned coming up.
I am behind in bills. There. I admitted it finally. I haven't paid my utilities and my balance is $198.00. I have a phone bill and a dentist bill as well that total about $400. I have been spending-spending-spending without much regard to my budget. I sat down yesterday and reviewed my trusty Mint.com account to check my handy pie charts and graphs only to realize I'm spending much more than I am bringing in and not saving a DIME. Boo hoo, I know. I need to nip this little problem in the bud and get it under control. I am going to have to get strict with my spending and really write down all of my transactions to avoid nearly overdrawing my account again.
The reason why this is an issue? I have a TON of stuff planned lately. I have/had a wodnerful trip to Vancouver planned and now I fear I may have to cancel it. Hotels, hockey, trasnsportation and sustinence adds up quite quickly. And then there is Halloween which involves mucho costume-planning and constructing. That I may have to skip as well. If I do go out, it will be in an easy costume. Maybe I will be a bowl of spaghetti. Or maybe a white-sheet ghost....
All of this makes me feel a bit like a failure. I can get one part of my life together only to let another part of it slip dangerously low. I feel content, for once in my life. I am running from nothing and having a much easier time dealing with the things that stress me out. I should be feeling proud of myself for at least recognizing when I'm in trouble instead of ignoring it, but I'm having a bit of a kicking-myself moment. I finally feel like a normal person. And that is vague, for who defines what is normal? But *I* know what I mean. I feel like everyone else instead of a nonfunctioning tard. I just hate that I've gotten myself into this mess without much of a way to dig myself out. It will take careful planning and frugal living... all of which I hate sometimes :)
I am behind in bills. There. I admitted it finally. I haven't paid my utilities and my balance is $198.00. I have a phone bill and a dentist bill as well that total about $400. I have been spending-spending-spending without much regard to my budget. I sat down yesterday and reviewed my trusty Mint.com account to check my handy pie charts and graphs only to realize I'm spending much more than I am bringing in and not saving a DIME. Boo hoo, I know. I need to nip this little problem in the bud and get it under control. I am going to have to get strict with my spending and really write down all of my transactions to avoid nearly overdrawing my account again.
The reason why this is an issue? I have a TON of stuff planned lately. I have/had a wodnerful trip to Vancouver planned and now I fear I may have to cancel it. Hotels, hockey, trasnsportation and sustinence adds up quite quickly. And then there is Halloween which involves mucho costume-planning and constructing. That I may have to skip as well. If I do go out, it will be in an easy costume. Maybe I will be a bowl of spaghetti. Or maybe a white-sheet ghost....
All of this makes me feel a bit like a failure. I can get one part of my life together only to let another part of it slip dangerously low. I feel content, for once in my life. I am running from nothing and having a much easier time dealing with the things that stress me out. I should be feeling proud of myself for at least recognizing when I'm in trouble instead of ignoring it, but I'm having a bit of a kicking-myself moment. I finally feel like a normal person. And that is vague, for who defines what is normal? But *I* know what I mean. I feel like everyone else instead of a nonfunctioning tard. I just hate that I've gotten myself into this mess without much of a way to dig myself out. It will take careful planning and frugal living... all of which I hate sometimes :)
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